The Seventh Circle of ...

Tea: Caramel Lapsang

Music: Elvis Costello and the Attractions, "Accidents Will Happen"

Time: Night.

"Dilbert" cartoonist Scott Adams postulates the existence of Heck, a place for people whose trangsressions aren't serious enough for ... well, that other place. (No, not this place, but it's close.)

(Side note: As we all know, Heck is also the place where they grow plantar warts.)

Surely, if there is such a place, one of the torments would include being locked in a room with People Who Mean Well.

Yes, it takes a capital.

You know the sort:

The well-meaning instructor who tells his students that peanuts were discovered by George Washington Carver;

The well-meaning tech support person who tells you that taking a certain action "shouldn't do nothing" to your computer (leaving one in the limbo of wondering what the something is that will be done);

The well-meaning friend who stops in for a hospital visit when all you want is to convalesce in silence;

And so on.

I know, I know ... meaning well does count for something. And I'm sure I've qualified for someone's version of Heck more than once over the years.

But c'mon ... everyone knows Al Gore discovered the peanut. In Latvia.

Cup X: One Down, One to Go, Another Town and One Game Show

Tea: Vanilla Jasmine

Music: Threshold, "Mission Profile"

Time: Night, after a long day

So here I am, overnighting in Springfield, Mo., which means that yes, I passed the first round of the Jeopardy test. Next up, the 50-question test. That's at 9 a.m., which means I have precious little time to go on Wikipedia and change every answer in the known universe to "Latvia."

I got to the testing site two and a half hours early, anticipating a gigantic line. I was No. 33. So I read and listened to music. I worked on the novel and talked to a fellow word guy and met his girlfriend, both very cool people. (Matthew and Melissa, that's you. You have the contact info. Call me next time you're in Kansas City.)

Oh, and my socks were not only unmatched, but gloriously so. Left foot, orange and black with narrow stripes. Right foot, green and black with wide stripes.

I didn't ace the test (locked up on "Lean Cuisine"), but nine out of 10 turned out to be good enough.

None of the answers, by the way, was "Latvia."

Give me time, though ... just give me time.