I know it's been a while since I rapped at you ...

Tea: Mandarin Green

Music: War, "Why Can't We Be Friends?"

Time: Night

Let's see.

Crappy car: Check.

Interesting employment situation: Check.

Insane slacker skills: Check.

It's official. I have become Jim Anchower (minus the stash).

So, anyway, today I took a break from writing and decided to spend a few minutes searching for new ways to waste time -- because, apparently, watching J-League matches on ESPN 360 just isn't enough. (Best announcer quote from Gamba Osaka v. Kyoto Sanga: "If Gamba can get a goal near the end of the first half, that will certainly be a detriment to the other team." Gee, ya think? The guy also called the goalkeeper "the custodian" a lot.)

First, I went to hulu.com, which promises hours upon hours of free "Lost in Space" and "Land of the Giants" episodes. (Yeah, I love me some 1960s Irwin Allen sci-fi TV. You got a problem with that?) Want "King of the Hill" instead? You got it.

Then, on another site, I found this. Cold War safety tips at their ironically hilarious finest. I know, I know, the specter of nuclear annihilation wasn't funny. But the turtle and the jingle -- not to mention the contention that a newspaper over the head will prevent radiation burns -- are unintentional comedy gold.

And best of all? There's always The Herculoids on YouTube.

Someone pass me the cold pizza, willya?