Commence This

Tea: Lapsang Caramel

Music: Barzin, "Leaving Time"

Time: Night.

It's graduation season. Break out the platitudes.

Pardon my cynicism, but most graduates aren't paying attention to the commencement addresses. They want to get out of the stadium/gymnasium/auditorium, get rid of the cap and gown, and start opening (a) presents; (b) something to drink; (c) both.

Those who are actually listening are likely to hear one of the great lies of our culture, to wit:

"You can do anything, be anything, achieve anything -- if you want it badly enough and work hard enough."

Um ... not so much.

The six-foot-ten kid may really want to be a jockey. Not going to happen.

The girl or boy who can't boil water without instructions might learn to be a serviceable cook, but probably isn't going to be a James Beard Award winner.

And no matter the level of desire and hard work, if your brain's not wired for astrophysics/surgery/musical composition ... it's not going to happen.

Why do we sell our kids this bill of bull? Maybe because we've been conditioned to see "elite" as a bad word. How dare people not be equal, when equality is supposed to be guaranteed to everyone?

Hate so say this, folks -- but that's not what the people who set up this country envisioned. They recognized that we all should be alive, free and able to pursue what makes us happy -- but equality of result, regardless of gift or talent? Again, not so much.

The sad side effect of this "You can be anything you want to " spiel is that it leads to the (faulty) presumption that those who don't land in prestigious positions are somehow failures. In truth, it takes everyone to make things work.

So ... here's my short exhortation to this spring's graduates:

Find your gift. Everyone has one. Embrace it to the fullest extent you can. And if you can make it pay your mortgage, count yourself blessed and/or fortunate.

Now go open your presents.