Measure of a Man

Tea: Assam Ginger (morning)/ Yerba Maté (turning of the day)/ Matcha (early afternoon)

Music: Cassandra Wilson, "Tupelo Honey"

Time: Pretty much all day

My father once said (or, more accurately, said about once a year) that, "The beauty of a man is tenderness."

This straight man has opened and closed his day seeing that kind of beauty.

There was Paolo, holding his young daughter with effortless (and obvious) affection in a Brooklyn tea shop. His eight-year-old son elbowed him to get his attention, and Paolo gave him that attention without a hint of irritation. The man radiated quiet love for his family.

And tonight, on the subway ride back from Manhattan, there was Brian, with his new wife and their children. He is headed to Iraq in January -- scarcely enough time to settle into this new shared life before putting his own on the line. It was apparent that he wasn't going to waste a minute between now and then.

And they shamed me. For every missed chance to be tender, for every needlessly harsh word, for every good word left unspoken.

But each day is a new chance. God help me not to miss them.